The voice inside my head…

Sometimes there is so much noise in my world that I cannot hear myself think, while other times the silence is deafening. I have often questioned whether it is really the noise outside that renders my thoughts inaudible or if my thoughts create their own noise as they scramble furiously trying to make sense of themselves. As I sit hear now, I hear only the sounds of tiny finches rejoicing their morning song; it can hardly be classified as noise yet still my thoughts seem impossible to decipher. Maybe I have grown accustomed to letting them fade into the background where they become easier to manage, easier to ignore – at least for awhile. And then a moment passes and as my heart races out of control, those thoughts start screaming as if they were throwing a tantrum like a two year old who needs attention. I listen briefly to quiet their fit but I quickly realize that listening carries a much heavier burden than ignorance and it is then I begin to hear the noise. Sometimes noise is our only saving grace.