Merry Christmas Dad

I miss my dad every day but if it’s possible I miss him even more at Christmas. When I was a kid Christmas was my dad’s holiday and sometimes I thought he was more excited about Santa Claus than I was. He tried so very hard to make sure I kept believing that Santa existed and I played along long after I realized he was the one putting the bikes together and building the dollhouses. I wanted to make him happy because when his eyes gleamed, my heart soared.

As I sit here tonight I can’t help but wonder if he’s celebrating in heaven. If I know my father like I think I do, I can almost bet he’s leading a group of carolers around and singing in his best Latin. My heart aches a little because his midnight mass reading will never be audible to my ears again and it makes me long to hear his voice just one more time. Sometimes I try to remember what his voice sounded like and for now I can hear it inside my head but I am so very afraid that as the years pass, so to will the memory of how my name sounded as he called for me.

We always believe our parents will live forever or at least until we are ready to let them go. I can tell you from experience, there will never be a moment when you are ready to let them pass and when the moment stands squarely in front of you, you will be powerless to stop it.

Embrace your family, make the moments count which will forever make them moments that last. When the inevitable moment arrives which takes a loved one from you, those moments will be the only thing that keeps you going.

Merry Christmas Dad.